Through the Nevernever: A Dresden Files Adventure
by TheOxyMorons
Summary: For our podcast, The Weekly Undertaking, we tried writing our own fan faction.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters depicted in this story

Snow crunched under my boots as I marched through Winter. My blasting rod and my .44 Magnum bounced against my thigh. My apprentice followed in my footsteps, using my staff as a walking stick, dutifully trudging upwards behind me. As we dutifully and purposefully trudged up the mountain, a gust of wind blew my trench coat back, and as the wind rustled my hair, I had to think that, for once, we almost looked badass.

I heard a soft impact and a yelp of surprise as my loyal apprentice faceplanted in the snow behind me.

I sighed. Emphasis on the "almost".

" Hey just wait up a second," Molly cried out in frustration, through clenched and chattering teeth.

"Less whining, more marching" I yelled back.

She groaned, and struggled to her feet and regained her balance. The epic music resumed in my head.

The music was quickly interrupted by a distinctly inhuman screech. I stopped moving and became very, very still. I slowly turned and made eye contact with Molly, who was frozen in utter fear. I turned my attention to the top of the mountain, and another unholy screech emerged from the top of it. Three disgusting, demented creatures emerged. They were entirely too large, and every inch of their bodies seemed to ripple with muscle. Ghouls. They charged at an unnatural speed.

"Get gone, grasshopper!" I shouted, and whipped out my blasting rod. I turned and, sure enough, my apprentice had vanished into thin air. Her mastery of veils never failed to stun me, and they just seemed to keep getting better.

But I didn't have time to be impressed. I aimed my blasting rod at the one leading the charge and shouted " _Forzare_!"

A lance of force as thick as my wrist sprung from the tip of the rod, and collided with the ghoul with enough power to crush a cement truck. It fell over, and kicked up a large cloud of snow, blinding the two ghouls behind it. I turned and ran, desperately putting distance between me and the ghouls. I reached into my power and opened a portal to the human realm.

The problem with the Nevernever is that it's always changing. Space and time don't work the same way as in the human world. You could theoretically open a portal in Chicago and hop into the Nevernever, walk 5 feet, and open another portal that leads to Beijing. Or the bottom of the Marina Trench. That's why wizards use the Ways to figure out how to get places quickly. But I didn't exactly have time to consult them, and I knew that fighting three massive ghouls on the side of a mountain in the middle of Winter with my apprentice in tow was not exactly the best idea. I'd just have to hope that whatever was on the other side of this portal was less dangerous than here.

I felt Molly tap me on the shoulder as she leapt through the portal. As I jumped to follow her, a ghoul grabbed me and hurled me into the snow. I landed face down, and the ghoul pounced on my back, clawing at my trenchcoat with its absurdly large talons. This thing was faster than anything its size had any right being. I needed a way out, fast. I had hexed my trenchcoat with all kinds of defensive spells, but they wouldn't hold forever.

I waited for a window in between impacts to open, and then whirled around and released the force from the rings around my fingers, which store some kinetic energy every time I walk. The force collided with the ghoul's chin (or, the closest thing the ghoul had to a chin) and ran out from underneath it. The other two ghouls jumped over it and came at me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out some screws. I threw them at the ghouls, and they shrieked and writhed in pain when they made contact.

I always keep cold iron on my person just in case I run into some violent faeries. I took a gamble. If these ghouls were with the Red Court, it never would have worked.

I didn't waste a minute to revel in how lucky I was or how mad Mab would be that I had used iron in her kingdom. I opened a portal and flung myself into it, desperately hoping that it wouldn't be anything anywhere close to as life-threatening.

I landed on a hard floor. I sprung to my feet and closed the portal. I looked around. It was dark, but there wasn't any immediate signs of danger. I took a deep breath.

First and foremost, I needed to find Molly. She could literally be anywhere, and I can't let her be hurt. I felt around for my blasting rod, but it wasn't in my trenchcoat. Fuck. I must have dropped it on the mountain. So now I have no rod, no staff, and a missing girl. Great.

As I was pondering how best to find Molly, I sensed a powerful magical force behind me. I turned around, and standing there was a young, distinctly British boy. His messy brown hair flopped over his face. He stood at about my shoulders, but given my height, that wasn't super abnormal. His smile was friendly and disarming, and his eyes stared right into my soul. I recognized him instantly. Of course I had heard the legends, but I never thought I would ever meet him in person. I had heard of his work and idolized him from afar, but now standing with this British boy, his presence became even more real and powerful.

"Harry Styles?" I choked out.

"Yeah, that's me," He laughed. "But who are you exactly?"

My heart rate quickened. My breath got short. His laugh was more than I could handle.

"I-I'm H-h-Harry." I stammered. I can't remember the last time I've been this nervous.

"Well, that's a great name then," He laughed again. The laugh was so damn cute. I couldn't take it. "As long as you're here, I might as well show you around backstage."

"We're backstage?!" I almost screamed.

"Of course we are!" he said. A random Nevernever portal had dropped me off backstage at a 1 Direction concert. Maybe there is a God after all. "The rest of the guys are all backstage, and I'm sure they'd love to meet y—" His voice broke off. He was staring at my neck. Oh god, did I have blood on my shirt? Or worse, a pizza stain?

He walked closer to me. I could feel his breath against my skin. It took every ounce of self-control to contain my excitement. He touched the pentacle I wear around my neck.

"That's a great necklace." He said.

"Thank you," I said. "It was my mother's."

He looked up at me. "Harry Dresden," he said, surprised. "Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden."

My Name. He said my Name. _How did he know my Name?!_

I swooned. "Yeah, that's me".

"I've heard of you." He said. "You've done some incredible things, haven't you?"

I couldn't speak. He was captivating. I just nodded.

"Then in that case, I should definitely celebrate you tonight." He grabbed my hand. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see the stage manager round the corner, see us, and back up slowly. Harry noticed too. He turned around.

"Sorry to disturb you, sir, but you're on." The stage manager said.

"Bloody hell" said Harry, in that incredible British accent. "I just want to spend time with you." His face suddenly lit up, as though he'd had an idea. He turned excitedly to me. "Come out on stage with me!"

"Oh, I don't think that's a good idea," I said. "I'm a wizard, and we tend to screw up electronics."

"Nonsense!" He said. "Just trust me, it'll go fine!"

Before I could protest further, he dragged me out on stage. I looked out at a huge stadium packed with thousands of screaming fans. I could tell they were all jealous of me.

Harry sat me down in a chair onstage. Then he looked me in the eye while the rest of the band played my favorite song, "What Makes You Beautiful". It was like he was singing directly to my insecurities. During the bridge, he caressed my face while singing "baby, you light up my world like nobody else." And he ran his fingers through my jet-black hair on the line "the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed". But the joke was on him. It was I who was overwhelmed.

After the song, Harry led me backstage, and let the other cute British boys handle the rest of the show. He dragged me to Green Room and our lips finally met. His warm touch sent sensations all through my body. He began to slide off my trenchcoat, but then suddenly screamed out in pain and pushed me back.

I got up, confused. What had hurt my baby?

A single screw lay on the floor in front of me, and Harry was staring at his hand. His middle finger looked severely burned, and was swelling up. I understood what happened instantly.

I shook my head, finally breaking the trance. He had lied to me! He didn't want me or my body! He was a spy for the Summer Court, trying to infiltrate Winter and gain an advantage over Queen Mab. I couldn't take it. I walked out of the green room.

"No, Harry," he cried out. "It's not what you think!"

I picked up my trenchcoat, took another half dozen screws out of the pocket that he had reached into, and scattered them on the ground so he couldn't easily leave. "Piss off, pretty boy." I said as I left.

I really need to work on my exit lines.

Fucking faeries.


End file.
